Imposter Syndrome: You (and I) Have It, Let's Try to Fix It
Last week, I enjoyed dinner with two of my best friends. They are both hard-working, barrier-breaking women who have advanced their careers to incredible heights. But despite all of their successes, both of them expressed a sense of inadequacy and doubt about their skills and abilities.
As I heard them talk, I could sense the presence of Imposter Syndrome in all their words. I recognized it so clearly because I have experienced it firsthand. When I started to gain success and grow earlier in my career, I constantly doubted my achievements. I thought I was not worthy of my success and did not have the competence, skill, or intelligence necessary to perform at the level I was at. When people complimented me, I would shrug my shoulders, minimize it, and think to myself, "it is only a matter of time until they realize I am not as good as they think I am." I was struggling with accepting my greatness and success, leaving me riddled with fears of disappointing those around me. It was not until I dug deep into the research that I learned the power to change these emotions was in my control.
One of my favorite ways of approaching Imposter Syndrome is to use Dr. Valerie Young’s ‘Five Types of Imposters’ Model.
The Perfectionist - sets impossibly high standards and seeks to achieve them 100% of the time. They beat themselves up even if they are just 1% off the mark. They also dictate how exactly they should achieve the goal and feel dissatisfied if things don't go exactly according to plan.
The Expert - are the knowledge version of the Perfectionist. They expect themselves to know everything and feels like a failure if there is even a tiny gap in their knowledge.
The Natural Genius - like perfectionist, they also set impossibly high standards, but they measure competence based on whether they reach the target on their first attempt. They believe that someone who's naturally talented should be able to do things quickly and effortlessly. They equates struggle with incompetence and doesn't cope well with setbacks.
The Soloist - define competence as the ability to do things on their own without assistance. They take pride in their ability to do things independently, and see any form of help (coaching, advice, mentorship, assistance) to mean they have failed.
The Superhuman - evaluate competence by the number of roles they can juggle and excel in. They expects to perform flawlessly in multiple roles and tend to overextend themselves.
Ask yourself: Which of those five imposter types am I right now? How is it affecting the way I do things? What negative impact is it having on my life?
For me, I was falling victim to Perfectionism and being The Expert. Of course, our first instinct is to think that those two things are not terrible as they indicate precision and care for your work. However, as you grow in your career, they simply do not work anymore. You will have a vast scope which means that knowing everything is IMPOSSIBLE...you have to get very comfortable with using your intuition, trusting others to have the expertise, and leaning into your flexibility and adaptability instead of pure knowledge. Along the same line, perfectionism is also not attainable. In fact, you should understand that perfection does not exist, and it never will. If you think you must always be perfect, you will hold yourself back and will never go for anything outside your comfort zone.
If you are experiencing Imposter Syndrome, please know that you are not alone. From a top executive to a newly hired employee, Imposter Syndrome can affect anyone. And while acquiring more knowledge, working longer hours, or doing more than your peers might be your approach to getting ahead, it certainly will not help alleviate those feelings of inadequacy, undeservingness, and anxiety. Instead, you need to change your belief and mindset. When I realized that I could shift my perspective, everything made sense. Better yet, I regained my confidence.
After years of research, pressure testing, and lessons learned, I have boiled the cure to my Imposter Syndrome down to four main components. Approaching these values helps me overcome Imposter Syndrome each and every day, and I hope you’ll find them applicable to your life, too.
1) Adopt a Growth Mindset: People with growth mindsets believe they are successful as long as they improve. Therefore, they focus on growth and work on continuously improving themselves. They view failure as a necessary step for development and embrace it as part of who they are. I challenge you to think through your approach to success and failure and work on cultivating a growth mindset.
2) Manage your Inner Critic: I wrote at length about this topic in my blog 'manage your inner critic'. Self-criticism is demoralizing, and it will reinforce your imposter syndrome. Remember that your thoughts are not necessarily facts — you must challenge those negative inner critic thoughts. If you are a woman, know that we tend to calibrate our performance and abilities more harshly than men and usually more negatively. Keeping my Inner Critic in check was critical in diminishing my personal feelings of Imposter Syndrome.
“Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take its place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.” Beverly Engel
3) Build your Confidence: Often, we confuse confidence with competence. Even if you don't have the knowledge or prior experience needed to work through a particular problem, you must maintain belief in your abilities to figure it out. Self-confidence is accepting and trusting yourself, your skills, and your abilities. It means you feel worthy and in control of your life, regardless of your imperfections, flaws, or what others may believe about you.
Here’s my personal example: I have changed my career and industry multiple times. Every time I take a different scope, I have doubts and fears because of the knowledge gap. Instead of letting that paralyze me, I have chosen to focus on my ability to learn fast, create high-performing teams, and maximize the talent around me. I lean into my strengths to remain confident in my role and get the results my team needs. Leaning into the areas I am optimistic about gives me the peace of mind I need to grow into the role, bridge the knowledge gap, and ultimately attack each day with confidence, not anxiety.
4) Master your Emotions: Fear and Anxiety are at the heart of Imposter Syndrome, and thus it is essential to work on managing them. Start by acknowledging the emotion. Try to name it. Then, assess the current situation by asking questions that encourage practical information as an answer. I prefer to ask 'What’ questions instead of 'Why’ questions to get objective answers, internalize less, and recognize the factors out of my control so I can re-strategize. For example: What can I work on today to become a stronger team member? Vs. Why do I feel like my work is being recognized less in the project?
As with everything, you need to spend time thinking through your specific situation and use techniques that work for you. I battle my imposter syndrome every day, and I have grown incredibly aware of its presence along with when it's most likely to show up. I have invested in coaches and different learnings to help me through it and I suggest you do the same. Spend time with yourself and find strategies that work for you.
For further guidance on building the confidence required to cure Imposter Syndrome, try downloading my free Confidence Guide and get moving in the right direction today.
Thanks for reading :)
